Tuesday, April 14, 2015

My Steady Man

  April 16th will be the wedding Anniversary
of my husband and me, 36 years in celebration!
A very dear friend gifted me with the book
"Created to be his Help Meet" By Debi Pearl, 10 years ago.
God used Debi's book to teach me
many valuable lessons,
and by God's grace changes (for the good)
took place in my life as a wife.


I'm not real sure why ~ but I felt compelled
to pull that book off my bookshelf
and skim through it just the other day.
I was drawn to the chapter that speaks on having
"wisdom to understand your man"
( Co-authored by Rebekah (Pearl) Anast )
"A wise woman learns to adapt to her husband"
In this chapter, Rebekah speaks about three kinds of men:
Mr Command Man ~ Mr Visionary ~ Mr Steady
"Most men are a little of all three,
but tend to be dominant in one.
And all the training and experiences of life
will never successfully make a man
into a different type of man."

Isn't God awesome in His creation!
My husband was created by God,
in the likeness of God and for His glory.
(Genesis 1:26)
My husband is who he is because that's how God created him.
Man was created in the image of God ~ therefore ~
"God is dominant - command man a sovereign
and all-powerful God. He is also visionary
omniscient and desirous of 
carrying out his plans. And, 
God is steady the same yesterday and today and forever,
our faithful High Priest."

My husband is the "steady man"
and wow! He is just that!
Thursday we will celebrate 36 years together
as a married couple,
and my steady man is basically the same
"yesterday and today."


I began pondering on our 36 years together
keeping in the back of my mind
what Rebekah said in that particular chapter;
"As we identify our husband we will be able to
see where we have been a curse 
or a blessing to him."
Those are thought provoking words.
Ten years ago when I read those words
for the first time, I examined myself and asked God
to reveal to me the areas in my life
where I may have been a curse to my husband.
And as we all know, when we ask, God begins to reveal.


Now, 10 years later as I read these words again,
I look back to where God began to change
me so as to be more of a blessing than a curse.
I ponder...and ask myself,
"Have I grown through the grace of God
into a woman my husband would find lovely?
Am I a blessing or am I a curse?
I would encourage you to reflect on your own marriage
(those who are married)
and between you, God and your husband,
search and ask the question,
Am I a blessing or a curse?
Then let God's abundant love flow through you.


A wise woman learns to adapt to her husband.
We live in a world where selfishness reigns,
"it's all about me."
How can one adapt if one is all about self?
Some women really believe they can change 
their husbands in order to have their own selfish ways.
My husband is who he is,
not what I want him to be.
I married who this man is ~
who the God of the universe created him to be,
and it's not my business to change him.
The secret is not to try to change 
the man God gave you as your spouse
but to receive him with acceptance
and help bring out the best of his God-given personality.
In the beginning years of our marriage
I thought I could change my husband
in some areas ~ but now after 36 years
I have come to realize and accept 
that he is very much a steady man
who is " the same yesterday and today."
My place as his "help meet" is learning to adapt,
not wanting to control but giving the controls
over to God, and trusting in His promises. 
"Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord,
and whose hope the Lord is.
For he shall be like the tree
planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out
her roots by the river, and shall not see
when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green."
(Jeremiah 17:7-8a)

My Dear husband has been divinely designed by God,
and in the grace of our marriage, walking beside him,
honoring him and adapting to who he is,
is exactly what God would have me to do as his "help meet."
(Genesis 2:18)
I desire for my husband to be the one God made him to be
without getting in the way;
Steady as a rock ~ gentle ~ caring ~ providing ~ understanding ~
 a man of peace and safety ~
one who doesn't make quick and hasty decisions ~
one who avoids controversy ~ doesn't find fault or gossip ~
and a man who will be faithful
until the day God calls him home.

In God's time and in His way
He is refining me into the wife He wants me to be.
36 years, and God is still, ever so gently,
dipping me in that refining pot
skimming off the uglies
so that I will come forth as gold.
Oh to be the work of His masterpiece 
bringing glory to His Holy Name.
The desire of my heart, with grace,
is to be a woman who honors, obeys and loves Jesus,
by honoring my husband.
(Titus 2:3-5)

" God is the Master at making heavenly marriages"
I have been blessed with a dear loving and faithful husband,
and give all my praise to the glory of God!
To my Dear husband,
thank you for being the "Steady" man 
God has designed and called you to be.
Happy Anniversary with love

Our Precious Heavenly father,
as women, teach us the truths of Your Word
that we might be gracious and lovely,
 as the wives You have called us to be.
Help us to love, honor and cherish our husbands,
giving You all the praise and glory.

Be Lovely
~ Debbie ~ 

I'm joining with Stephanie at
Roses of Inspiration


CelestinaMarie@SouthernDayDreams said...

Hi Debbie, Congrats to you and your Steady Man on 36 wonderful years of marriage. This post is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to marriage and the learning along the way. God Bless you with many more years of happiness, health and much love.
Happy Anniversary my friend.
Love to you, CM

Christine said...

Many many congratulations on 36 years together as husband and wife!
I really enjoyed reading and learning from your post!
God bless you both with many more joyful years together!

magnoliasntea said...

Happy 36th Anniversary, Debbie!
God is great and good, and marriages that last usually reveal He is the true master in them. Lovely photos. Thank you for sharing.
Have a great week!

Stephanie said...

I am grinning from ear-to-ear right now :) I am assuming this is the post you were talking about last night...te post you thought might be "corny." :)

Oh mom, I am SO GLAD you shared this beautiful tribute to dad! While I am smiling I also have a tear or two in my eyes. What a gift and precious testimony to be together after 36 years of marriage! God has indeed blessed the two of you. As your daughter it has been a joy to watch the two of you grow closer every year and to see the love shining from your eyes as you look at one another.

May the Lord give to you many, many, many more years of marriage bliss :) And may I say thank you for encouraging us married women with these words of wisdom. Love to you!

Kelly-Anne said...

Dear Debbie...a very happy wedding anniversary to you and your husband of 36 years! What a wonderfully special occasion to celebrate!
I receieved Debi Pearl's book entitled 'Preparing to be a Helpmeet' some years back and someday, should the Lord see fit to bless me with a Godly man, I will read 'Created to be His Help Meet' too...I have personally seen many of my mother's friends blessed by this book and their marriages stremgthened!
Many blessings in the Lord Jesus Christ!

Mehrll said...

Congratulations on your anniversary! A happy marriage always has Christ at the center. How blessed you are to have a great marriage!

Debby Ray said...

What a precious post, Debbie. First of all, Happy Anniversary to you both! What a lovely couple you make together...he is as handsome as you are beautiful and I enjoyed seeing the photos of you together. May God grant you many more years of happiness!!

Butterfly 8)(8 Bungalow said...

Happy anniversary!

Sola Scriptura said...

Happy Anniversary! May God continue to bless your marriage.

Anonymous said...

What joy to read your words Debbie and feel the respect and love pouring from them. What joy indeed to see that loving our husbands requires more than the world says it does! May our Lord and Saviour continue to bless your union. I have been so encouraged and blessed by this post today :0)

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

This was just beautiful!

I would love to be able to bless my husband, but alas, he is now with Jesus. My days of being a blessing to him and blessing him are over.

May you and your dear husband have a wonderful 36th Anniversary. May your love continue to grow with each new day you are blessed with. You make a lovely couple.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

Simply Linda said...

Beautiful post my friend! Happy, Happy Anniversary. Wishes for many, many more.

Thank you for posting this, what a inspiration! We celebrated our 26th back in Dec. and there are many things I wished/ could of said...you my friend, have a way with words. Blessings

Sylvia said...

Happy 36th Anniversary, Debbie!
This is such an inspirational post, thanks for sharing it with us,it touched my heart. God is using you to bless us with your wisdom. May he continue to bless you and your marriage!
Hugs, Sylvia

NanaDiana said...

What a wonderful, wonderful post! Congratulations on your 36 years! We are coming up on 40 this year! We, too, have been blessed and made many changes in our marriage several years ago. Marriage is not a 50/50 deal-that's for sure- it is a marriage where you have to be in 100% (both parties). God bless you and your handsome hubby. You make a beautiful couple together. xo Diana

Deborah Montgomery said...

What a lovely post about marriage and your husband, Debbie. Congratulations on 36 years! I have been blessed with a Mr. Steady, too.
Thank you for the encouraging and wise words. It's so important to keep reminding ourselves of the truth of God's Word.

Linda @ Life and Linda said...

Congrats on your anniversary. How very special...36 years. Beautiful post that you have shared with your readers. Coming over from Robyns'.

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Debbie! Congratulations!!!! We had our 33rd this year, and what a blessing it is to look back, look at NOW and hope for the future with the same gentle and faithful companion.Blessings to you both! What a sweet post....

living from glory to glory said...

Hello, What a lovely post! Give honor where honor is due! Yes, the key is to adapt and that is being submissive to him and God, it does allow him to lead and grow! You both look content and happy and I also was given that book about 10years ago...
Mrs. Steady
Congrats on staying strong and together!
Hugs, Roxy

Linda Walker said...

Dear Debbie,
Happy Anniversary and congratulations on your 36 years of marriage! So much of this post spoke to me. I have a steady Eddie as well (32 yrs coming up in Oct). I was touched by Stephanie's comments and it is obvious she grew up in a very loving home! I wish you many more years of happiness with your Steady Eddie. You both look so happy together! Such a lovely couple!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. You two look amazing in your photos.

hobbyloes said...

Congratulations Debbie to you and your husband!!
36 years are given to you, your both are so blessed.
Wish you many happy years together and with your family.

Conniecrafter said...

Wonderful post, I believe mine is a steady guy too. God has blessed me with a husband that is always encouraging and loving, just what God knew I would need :)

Robyn said...

Oh my, Debbie, your tribute to your husband and marriage is so heartfelt and touching. I agree so much that we cannot set out to change the man we marry but rather accept and even celebrate our differences - it's what makes a marriage interesting (and challenging at times, lol)
Your husband radiates goodness as you do - it even comes through in the pics. You two are the perfect pair!
Happy Anniversary, sweet friend. :)

Diane Nickerson said...

Happy Anniversary! Such a wonderful way to honor your steady man! Reading "Created to be His Helpmeet" so many years ago has helped me be a better helpmeet to my command man of going on 26 years...I had to purchase a second copy so I could have one copy to reread periodically and one copy to loan out because it was being borrowed so often! Thanks for sharing this lovely post with us.

Kimberly~Nutbrown Cottage said...

Congratulations on 36 years of marriage! I read that book, as well, and found a lot of wisdom in it. I saw my need to change, too, and have had a happier marriage for it. I'm married to a Steady Man, too. They're the best!

Vee said...

A very happy and blessed anniversary to you both!

Mindy Whipple said...

Happy Anniversary and blessings to you and your husband on 36 years! The pictures of the two of you are beautiful. I love the part of your post about wanting your husband to be who God made him to be without you getting in the way. I think on this often because it is easy to get in the way of what God is doing in favor of what we think our wonderful men should be doing. God's way is always best - of course! Again, congratulations and prayers for many more wonderful years together.

Geneva said...

What a beautiful post Debbie. So honoring to God and to your husband. Blessings on your anniversary and praying that you and your husband will share many more years together. xo Geneva

Vicky Hunt said...

Happy Anniversary to you and your husband. These are beautiful photos...you and your husband are such a beautiful couple. I have never read this book, but it sounds like a good one. I'll have to remember to look for it. May you have many, many more years of wedded bliss! Hugs to you my friend.

Blessings, Vicky

Annabel Smith said...

Happy Anniversary! My husband is Mr. steady too. You can always trust him, always rely on him, he is consistent. A lot to be grateful for in a Mr. steady! Xx

Cranberry Morning said...

Happy Anniversary! That was a lovely post. What a tribute to your husband and to God who made him the way he is - steady. To my mind, and I've 9 years on you, it is the most wonderful of traits. What a blessing to share the years with a solid, steady man of character. May you two share many more years together as faithful and steady servants of the Lord.

Ida said...

Belated Anniversary Greetings to you and your hubby.
What a thought provoking post this was. Especially as I celebrate my own Annivesary on the 18th. (#23 for us). I hope I've been more of a blessing to him then a curse. - I know he's been a blessing to me. He's a giving man and while he's "steady" (or as I sometimes say "stubborn") is some of his ways he is also willing to adapt to show me he loves me back. I think part of marriage is about change and part is about acceptance. I wish you both many more happy years together.

Dee said...

Happy Anniversary! Wow... 36 years. This was such a beautiful post and so enlightening. I'm definitely going to have to read that book... :)

Gypsy Heart said...

Such a beautiful post and tribute to your husband as well as your marriage. I wish you many, many more years of bliss! I haven't been as fortunate so it's wonderful to see marriages that last and the people are happy.

I stopped by from CM's ~ your gift to her was fabulous! I'm a new follower and look forward to getting to know you. I see many scriptures that are special to me!


Wanda said...

Congratulations Big Time. How precious are the couples that God is the master planner. You've said it all so beautifully.

Marriage can be a blessing or a curse, and so much depends on the woman that God has given the man.

I too am a blessed woman. We will celebrate 54 in June.

indah nuria Savitri said...

What a lovely post...and happy anniversary for you and your steady man 😊. 36 years is really something. May Lord bless you two with everlasting love, always. Cheers..

Nina said...

Happy 36th Anniversary, Debbie!
Wonderful words on love and marriage - and self-examination - letting God show the way - inward change is the key to the outward change.
May God continue to bless your marriage and family,
love and hugs from

kitty@ Kitty's Kozy Kitchen said...

Oh my goodness, Debbie, Happy 36 years to both of you!!! What a wonderful post you have written about your love for your Mr. Steady. I, too, was lucky to have been married to my late beloved Mr. Steady. He was someone that I could always count on, my knight in shining armor and my steady rock. One day we will be together again.
Love and blessings are sent to you.

kitty@ Kitty's Kozy Kitchen said...

I forgot to say how much I enjoyed seeing the pictures of both of you...what a beautiful couple, and the pictures of your handsome Mr. Steady.

CherylQuilts said...

Oh, Debbie, this is one of the most beautiful blog posts ever! I so loved reading this "story" about you and your dear husband ("Mr. Steady") and your celebration of 36 blessed years of marriage! Praise God for all He has done in and through you both! You are a wonderful testimony of the preciousness of biblical marriage and how a husband and wife work together...throughout a marriage...year in and year out. Praise God! I loved each and every photo....thank you for sharing this, dear friend! May God continue to bless you both! Hugs!

M.K. said...

Thank you for these thought-provoking words. It's good to examine ourselves. We do need to adapt to each other. As my husband says, we are supposed to be "shepherding each other into heaven." I like that image. Never to change each other, or force the other to adapt to US, but to consider ourselves and how WE can change. :)

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